Sometimes, you just can't help it.

Things I did successfully this week: Ran.

Things I did not do successfully this week: Love my body.

Ugh.

I hate that I have to even deal with this never ending battle of the love/hate relationship with my body.  I look at myself and I see something amazing.  Something I worked very hard for.  Something I recommit to keeping everyday.

While I see something amazing, I feel like a 927lb sad, unhappy miserable person.  I know I am not.  I mean, it's obvious I am not.  But I feel like I am, so therefore, I must be.  I hate having days/weeks like this.  And this past week was one of "those" kind of weeks.

Sure, I ran a total of 20mi and I did really well focusing on what I used to fuel those runs.  But I still felt fat.  In hind sight, it was time.  I honestly can't remember the last time I felt like this, I just know that I felt this way last week.

I didn't weigh myself(why add to the pain), I didn't look in the mirror often(what's the point) and other than the two times I wore actual clothes, I stayed in running gear because it is what I was most comfortable in.

I'm not even sure why I'm sharing this.  I guess because there is a point to prove that no matter where we are in our journey, we all still struggle with some sort of battle.  And this week, I struggled with loving myself even though I wanted to hate myself.

The good thing is that I didn't let those feelings defeat me and give in.  I still ran.  I still did weights.  I still ate well.  And this week I will face it head on and feel good.

In all my randomness.

XOXO!