Things I did successfully this week: Ran.
Things I did not do successfully this week: Love my body.
I hate that I have to even deal with this never ending battle of the love/hate relationship with my body. I look at myself and I see something amazing. Something I worked very hard for. Something I recommit to keeping everyday.
While I see something amazing, I feel like a 927lb sad, unhappy miserable person. I know I am not. I mean, it's obvious I am not. But I feel like I am, so therefore, I must be. I hate having days/weeks like this. And this past week was one of "those" kind of weeks.
Sure, I ran a total of 20mi and I did really well focusing on what I used to fuel those runs. But I still felt fat. In hind sight, it was time. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt like this, I just know that I felt this way last week.
I didn't weigh myself(why add to the pain), I didn't look in the mirror often(what's the point) and other than the two times I wore actual clothes, I stayed in running gear because it is what I was most comfortable in.
I'm not even sure why I'm sharing this. I guess because there is a point to prove that no matter where we are in our journey, we all still struggle with some sort of battle. And this week, I struggled with loving myself even though I wanted to hate myself.
The good thing is that I didn't let those feelings defeat me and give in. I still ran. I still did weights. I still ate well. And this week I will face it head on and feel good.
In all my randomness.